How You Can Improve Your Self-Esteem in 10 Weeks

How you feel about yourself is important! A healthy level of self-esteem will help you do right by you AND be a productive, contributing member of society. It is good for you, your loved ones and the world.

To prime you to improve your self-esteem, I have created a series of challenges that can be completed over 10 weeks. It will show you what is possible as you explore who you are, take control of your life, and find meaning and value in your existence. Maintaining self-esteem is an ongoing practice, so these challenges serve as a kickstart. If you want to explore further, click the button below and head to my course where you’ll received personalised support from me as you build a solid foundation of self-esteem.

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I want everybody to, given the choice of being anyone in this world, still choose to be themselves. And to know the strength of being themselves.

Every person deserves to be happy and content in their own skin. Self-worth in its own right is important.

But it’s also better for the entire planet when every person has a grounded sense of value and esteem. It means we nurture our strengths and gifts with belief that we can make a difference, and then we do. It means we can try new things, even when they are hard, and therefore progress together as a civilisation. It means we screw up less because we are not acting from ego, but from purpose-driven intention. Ironically, the stronger our self-esteem, the more we can contribute and be less about ‘us’.

And even without being all about you, you certainly can show and embrace all parts of yourself. You can unabashedly showcase your gifts and make the world brighter for it.

You can enjoy your time in this life with a commitment to your mind, body and soul, and have magical experiences with healthier bodies and lock-in points that get us out of our comfort zone and quantum leaping into superstar territory.

When we feel good, we can walk away from what isn’t working and not suffer little tortures every day because of the way we talk to ourselves.

Your pursuit of real self-esteem will be one of the best courses of action you have ever taken. The challenges can be done every few months or every year if you need a shake-up and reset. Some will comprise new daily practices.

Many will make you robust and will be genuinely challenging. Others will be less scary, tasks that you will have to bother to do to see their impact.

In any case, true self-esteem isn’t just something that just happens. It is cultivated through actions and experiences. This is why sometimes people have greater self-esteem when they are older. They have survived a lot, and likely contributed in tangible ways. I’ve called this an accelerator, because whether you are in your 20s or in your 70s, you don’t have to wait for the rest of your life to start feeling good about yourself. You can fast-track it and I can’t wait to show you how.

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Who am I?

This is our first stage in discovering YOU. You can only really love, appreciate and HONOUR yourself once you take the time to really know yourself. I also like to give the precursor that who you are is going to evolve, but it is really how you choose to see yourself and your story that will make a difference.

This is not the only module that focuses on knowing yourself. Modules 4 and 6 are also going to examine all parts of you, including the parts we resist. But for this module will explore who you are, especially in the best possible light. You will engage in certain challenges including writing your own compelling biography using the most loving perspectives available to you.

So let me introduce the challenges. Try not to see these challenges as linear- you can do them in any order or at the same time, and they each have their own unique and important effect.

Challenge One

The first challenge is writing your own biography. A biography is a piece of writing that tells your life story and in the world of marketing, usually captures the parts of you that are most compelling to your ideal client or audience. Your story will reveal many of your positive traits, and you’ll look to determine what these are after the task.

For this challenge, you are going to write this biography in a way that makes you seem like the most inspiring person you know. It might place you as the hero archetype or ‘main character’, who has got through so much and is strong and accomplished. In my writing course, we call this your hero story, and we have a closer focus on the language you are using, but for this course, we really just need to frame your story in the most empowering way.

If you and I do any deep work together, there are parts of this story that would be very interesting to me in terms of deciphering your mindset, however we won’t go there quite yet. All we need for this challenge is a page or so of your compelling life story.

To prepare for this, list out everything you’ve achieved and the hurdles you overcame to get there. You can also do the inverse, which is to write down your greatest life challenges and how they made you the incredible person you are today.

You can use third person perspective just for a bit of fun distance and tone of authority for now. This means when writing about myself I would say, ‘Becky went from innocently writing advice letters to helping thousands of people access their inner wisdom and master personal confidence’ and opposed to ‘I went from writing advice letters…’ etc. A really great way to get into the headspace of how to write this is to imagine your job is to paint people’s lives in the most favourable light and that the better you capture their accomplishments, the more you get paid.

Once you do that, read over your words and observe and journal how they make you feel. Maybe you feel great, or sceptical (like you want to doubt that you are that awesome or play it down), or maybe you are humbled by your own life.

You should also list what your hero story reveals about you as a person, noticing what you want to maintain and what you may wish to dispel of. For example, you might see that in all your relationships, you begin with a level of trepidation and that you can be fearful. Put a mental bookmark in this, because you’ll have an opportunity to change this later in the course. Or maybe all the accomplishments you see as worthwhile are to do with performance, which may make you performative or someone who should be entertaining more often. It could also invite you to think about how you relate to the very high highs. Are they fleeting or are they your life-force?

So why is this task worth the bother?

As well as setting you on the way to a more aligned vision of yourself, you will also be able to use it as:

- a starting point for a biography for your business

- a way to add legitimate authority to your services so people trust you as the expert who can help them

- A reference point if you ever doubt your ability to overcome a problem

- A way to note how far you have come or how natural change can be

- An instant pick-me-up to get into your ‘peak state’

- A way to decode the stories and beliefs that may drive you & potentially hold you back

Enjoy the process of this one. Keeping the positive filter on is the challenge, as is the level of bother it involves. But it is worth it.

Challenge Two

The second challenge in this module of really getting to know, appreciate and, with your actions, honour yourself, is to keep a running list of how you work best. In this list that you can keep in your phone notes or physical journal, you’ll be taking note of the times you feel great, energised, in the zone, and you decode or guess why that is the case. This challenge is something you can complete upfront with your current knowledge, things you’ve probably never given the time of day, AND continue to add to this. So if you know you work best with 8 hours sleep and you have made note of this, so much is simplified when making life choices. You would turn your phone to flight mode or put it in another room early enough to guarantee 8 hours. If you work out that you never wanna do things til the last minute and do a pretty good job of them, with minimal stress, well you can just own it. I really want these challenges to be simple, so you can just make a list of how you work best, and also think about when you don’t or are feeling a bit off, and then work backwards to see what you would have to do to feel better.

To add a bit of punch to this, it’s also great to start to think about who needs to know this. Does your boss, your partner, friends, colleagues, kids, clients need to know that you, for example, are high-functioning after 10 minutes of silent meditation in solitude or even hours of complete alone time. Or that you find your mood alters dramatically when you don’t eat regularly. Or that you won’t be on social media on the weekends because you need a two-day technology detox lest you turn into a monster! Be very open to sharing and owning how you work.

Once you’ve got 10 solid points, send me a screenshot and count that challenge as complete. And if you want it to be the difference that makes a difference to your self-esteem? Honour and follow this as often as humanly possible. Let your world revolve around this, not to keep you in a comfort zone, but to show yourself that you matter. It is far better for everyone that you function at your peak anyway.

Challenge Three

The next challenge for this module is a simple exercise that you would be surprised how many people struggle to do. And that is, simply listing and speaking out loud your best qualities, beginning with ‘I am…’. List your best qualities and then push yourself to get even more by asking ‘What would my friends say?’, ‘What would family say’, ‘What would my partner and past lovers say?’ and so on until the list is as long as you can make it. Then start saying them aloud. For this challenge, I would love to get a voice memo of you just listing ‘I am… I am... I am…’. Now, there are personal development activities that would have you ask others what they think your best qualities are and there is nothing wrong that. You should know though that the qualities you hear back are going to be the one that person values the most. So this is why when it comes from your own brain and ‘guesses’ it really solidifies self-esteem, because you will only name things that you perceive as the most important qualities.

Challenge Four

And here is the last challenge of the week. Post a picture or video of yourself on social media, but you have to be in your utmost element, so not just doing what you love or what makes you feel good, because you probably have done this, but actually you doing something that you’re good at. Now, doing and showcasing what you’re good at is not gonna make you a better person, but it will give you a taste of the energy of owning yourself and putting yourself out there. You’ll immediately notice if you feel proud or fearful, and these are clues about our attitude towards visible success. It would just be the perfect time to start affirming ‘It is safe to be seen succeeding’ until it feels like the honest truth.

Challenge Summary

· Write your own biography, as though you were writing about someone you idolise. Make the challenges part of your compelling story.

· Contribute to a list called ‘How I work best’. Commit to functioning at your peak by following this list, using the guidance from the supporting video.

· What are your best qualities? You can ask others or simply imagine what a friend, parent, child, colleague, client might say about you.

· Post a picture or video of you in your element.

Real Self-Care

In this module, you will learn that self-care is more than a cliché, and that there are ways to skyrocket your practice of it through your attitude towards it. You will see that it is much more than bubble-baths, and perhaps for you, more than sorting out your finances. In deconstructing your unique code, you’ll find greater clarity about what constitutes ‘self-care’.

I don’t like the fact that ‘self-care’ seems so cliché these days and that in the name of cultivating real self-care, bubble baths are getting a bad name. This module is going to help you embrace all types of self-care, especially in ways that actively contribute to your ever-growing self-esteem.

We all have a unique code, and this results in us having different perceptions and working versions of ‘balance’ and self-care.

Challenge One

The first challenge is to list the most nourishing self-care practices you can think of, including ones that seem excessive in some way and lock one in by setting a self-care hour, evening or day. Yes, I would like you to practice self-care every day and every moment, which is entirely possible, but for now we need to create a time and place and say, ‘YES! This is time I’ve carved out just for me!’.

Self-care really is anything that shows you that you care about yourself, especially in the ways of health, pleasure, restoration, growth.

Challenge Two

The next challenge is to block out time in your calendar for a day/week off work FOR NO REASON! Only you know how this time off will impact you, so make decisions accordingly. This is meant to be slightly uncomfortable and feel a bit naughty. You will give yourself a chance to have lengthy and dedicated time to joy and rest or any other type of self-care you listed in the previous challenge. But it is also meant to reinforce that the world does not, in the long-term, fall apart when you take care of you first! Take photos of how you spend your day, for your eyes or for the world’s.

Note: Again, only you understand the impact of your decision here. For myself, I’ve taken time off working on music and found that it never hindered my progress. I’ve also taken days off work with illness and also in the preventative way, and even knowing that my work is important, I can’t remember any of the fallout of me being absent!

To supplement this week, watch my video on Hinging Points and really solidify your list on how you work best. Then fool-proof all your routines so that you stick to these. Have your hinging points embedded and sequenced within your days.

Challenge Three

Self-betterment and measuring progress are other great ways to build self-esteem so that you don’t have to hold yourself back anymore from going for your dreams. It starts with your attitudes towards progress and your ongoing commitment to examining yourself and improving. Give yourself a rating out of 10 for health, fitness, mindfulness, sleep, flexibility, money. If there are other categories in your life that you wish to add like relationships or community, you can add those too. But it’s good to start with those because they are self-centric and to do with basic and bodily self-care. You’ll see some more around body positivity in coming modules. Now, write what it would take to get one more point in each area and find ways to lock in that practice. Locking something in might be scheduling something or having some social accountability attached, like exercising with a friend. Big tick for locking it in and a bit tick for doing it. It’s incredibly powerful to see that when you put your mind to something you can achieve it, especially when it is your decision and your actions that help you get there.

An optional addition to this radical self-care work considering disconnecting from social media for longer than is comfortable. If your work depends on it, place strict limitations on the content you post and consume, plus when that happens. The reason this is powerful is because it can help give you a dopamine reset, which means not relying on the little hits, the little highs that you would get from seeing notifications or likes or comments or messages. It’s very much about controlling where we get our happy hormones from, but also about relying less and less on external rewards and shallow interactions.

Instead consider commit to measuring, tallying, keeping data records on one of the following; health, fitness, mindfulness, sleep & flexibility. The most simple data record you can keep is the frequency with which you do any of these. So that would mean just noting how many times a week you exercise or stretch or meditate, etc. And then a more in-depth way of measuring these components might be tracking the amount of weight reps you can do or how close you are to touching your toes.

Challenge Four

And if you haven’t already solidified this, commit to three positive morning and evening practices that nurture you in some way. These will become non-negotiables for as long as they are doing you good. It might be a minute of breathing in a way that feels really nice or having a warm, healthy beverage in your backyard or during a stroll, or you could do 20 push-ups. I highly recommend making them easy enough to stick to even on your business day or when you might be feeling a little low if you have that disposition or cycles of up and down days- really make it simple, easy and nourishing.

Challenge Summary

· List the most nourishing self-care practices you can think of, including ones that seem excessive in some way and lock one in.

· Block out time in your calendar for a day/week off work FOR NO REASON! Only you know how this time off will impact you, so make decisions accordingly.

· Watch the video on hinging points and reread your list on how you work best and add to this. Can you fool-proof it so that you can adhere to these hinging points?

· Give yourself a rating out of 10 for health, fitness, mindfulness, sleep & flexibility. Write what it would take to get one more point and find ways to lock in that practice.

· Consider disconnecting from social media for longer than is comfortable. If your work depends on it, place strict limitations on the content you post and consume, plus when that happens.

· Commit to three positive morning and evening practices that nurture you in some way.

· Commit to measuring, tallying, keeping data records on one of the following; health, fitness, mindfulness, sleep & flexibility

Communication & Relationships

In this module, we will attend to your relationships, starting with you. You will learn how to have an awkward conversation and how to be honest and say absolutely anything and still be met with love and understanding. This is a beautiful module that will immediately skyrocket your sense of personal empowerment and self-respect.

There is no doubt that much of how we view ourselves and our lives depends on our interpersonal dynamics and how we see ourselves in relation to other people. Our relationships and how we navigate them, also have the potential to really establish and reinforce positive self-esteem.

Challenge One

The first and, in my opinion, scariest challenge is having what we call an ‘awkward conversation’ with somebody. And this isn’t something that you would normally seek to do. You might ask yourself the question ‘Where am I not speaking my truth’ and find that it leads you to realising that there is someone in particular that you have been avoiding a conversation with. Now, you know that this is worth having because it will lead to you getting something off your chest, helping one or both of you let go of resentment or build greater understanding or move forward with more honesty and that will be a sign that it’s time.

This conversation does not need to be awkward. Your approach should be saying what you would like to say as though they will react exactly as you wish for them to react. So you work backwards, right? How would I like them to react? And for them to react this way, I would need to say it like so. Anticipating the worst has an impact on our tonality and body language and actually invites in a particular response. Same goes for anticipating the best.

It's also important that before the conversation, you hold the very best intentions for that person, yourself and beyond. Be kind, always. This is being able to say anything ‘with love on your lips’. How would you phrase your words and what tone would you use if you had love on your lips?

Encourage two-way conversation, too. I’m a huge advocate for always, no matter how hard, creating an opportunity for the other person to have a say and to set up the conditions for that to happen. So whilst you might be successful in saying what you need to say, hearing a response you intended and then walking away, it’s just so thoughtful and compassionate to invite that person to feel free to bring anything else up with you or to make time to speak again if they need. In empowering ourselves, we should avoid disempowering others. I’ve coached many people through the process of awkward conversations, with amazing results. If you need a pep-talk or debrief, I am here to do that in this accelerator course.

As part of this or in addition to, you may attempt a negotiation. Consider what might be relevant in your life and have a discussion with someone, looking for win-win outcomes and to have your needs met. This is where the awkward conversation might be with your boss, where you raise concerns, ideas and proposals, including for more money. There is a compound effect on self-esteem when you are willing to state and claim your worth. Approach it, again, with the ideal outcome in mind.

Challenge Two

Another really important challenge for those in significant relationships is to have you and your partner list your top 5 relationship values. Examples of values might be things like trust, honesty, acceptance, growing together, love, sex, fun, etc. Notice what is different and acknowledge these, allowing the process to explain A LOT. It is actually such a relief when you see how a person’s values explain so much! If anything appears to be completely incompatible, we can do some coaching around that too. If you are single and are looking for a relationship, you can list your own values and use your awareness to draw in the right partner for you. If you meditate with open hands, heart and in loving energy and affirm that you want a relationship with trust, acceptance, mutual support (or whatever your relationship values are), then you will be attuned to:

a) The person who could have those same values…

b) Directing partnerships towards your values; you’ll see where you are off-course or where you are aligned, or even where you may be feeling tension because of a misalignment. As mentioned in the above paragraph, just being aware of your values is a great tool in understanding your behaviour and the expectations you may place upon other people.

So what do relationship values have to do with boosting self-esteem? you may wonder. Well for some people, when their partners act out of alignment with their own values, but still seem like a ‘nice person’ or ‘good partner’, it can make that person feel like there is something wrong with them. Like something is amiss. When you are clear on difference, you can honour those and take care of each other in the ways you need. You can ask to have your needs met in ways that you absolutely deserve.

Challenge Three

While we are working on relationships, take stock of what relationships need nurturing. It is easy to think that nobody reaches out to you or that you’ve grown apart from certain people, when you’ve taken no responsibility for it being any different. Pick the frequency and dynamic that works for you. If you would like to talk to your siblings once a week, you need to be the one to make that happen. Change your attitude. It is no slight against you if you are always the one to call. It’s called going at your speed! And as you are dialling up the relationships that you love and want to make work, consider what relationships are toxic and take measures to change the dynamic or distance yourself. If that involves an awkward conversation, consider it an opportunity for more practice.

Challenge Four

Changing the dynamic of your relationships can start with you establishing or re-establishing boundaries. This will mean consistently upholding these boundaries my modelling the type of interactions you want to have and being assertive when somebody oversteps. Usually boundaries are less about how people treat us and more about what we are willing to accept. Be clear on the dynamic you wish to cultivate and control what you can from your end. If a colleague speaks to you unkindly, it is up to you to raise it as a concern and not laugh it off if you want it to stop. If you don’t want to be called after 9pm, don’t answer any messages that arrive at that time, or turn your phone off. What could you do to maintain boundaries and take better care of yourself?

Challenge Summary

Have an awkward conversation with one person, where you candidly raise any issues you want to discuss and speak ‘with love on your lips’.

Attempt a negotiation. Consider what might be relevant in your life and have a discussion with someone, looking for win-win outcomes and to have your needs met.

If you are in a relationship, have you and your partner list your top 5 relationship values. Notice what is different and acknowledge these, allowing the process to explain A LOT. If anything appears to be completely incompatible, we can do some coaching around that too.

Consider what relationships need nurturing and ways you can nurture these with a frequency and dynamic that works for you.

Consider what relationships are toxic and take measures to change the dynamic or distance yourself.

Establish or re-establish boundaries to take care of you!

Owning all Parts

In this module, we dive deeper into more of what makes you who you are, including those parts that we sometimes wish to disown. You will discover that they are tied to your greatest strengths and motivators and that a particular type of engagement with these parts will have you feeling fulfilled.

Challenge One

The first challenge for this module is to write down what you perceive to be the shadow or negative parts of you and give each a flip-side, a LIGHT quality. For example, the flip side of neurotic perfectionism might be pride in your work or great attention to detail. We don’t deny that the ‘dark’ presentation of our gifts won’t be present or something we won’t need to contend with ever again. But it will transform the way you see these and how you see yourself. It will also encourage you to live into the light side or the dark or problematic elements. If you are highly sensitive, you can consider how you can explore this sensitivity through art, or how you might capitalise on being very attuned to the feelings of others. Perhaps your will thrive in a particular career or project that will draw out this light side of what you see as holding you back.

If you are particularly self-aware, you can start with your ‘light’ qualities and then acknowledge the ‘dark side’ and write practical tips or steps to ensure that you do not dwell in the darkness for too long, or that you avoid the problematic manifestations of your gifts. For example, if you know that your sense of humour is a strength but it can get you into trouble in particular contexts, create appropriate outlets for this humour so that you don’t need to be the class clown at your work team meeting (because politically correctness…).

Challenge Two

The next challenge for this week is to create a candid video or post where you share something that is real to you and that makes you scared of being rejected for sharing it. You might fear rejection because what you share is too personal, or contradicts an image of perfection you may have cultivated or reveals something that is a work in progress. For some, this might be posting without makeup or sharing some poetry or just talking about something difficult you went through.

Challenge Three

The last simple act for this part of the course is to just breathe and acknowledge your courage in doing what scares you. You can say the words ‘I am brave’ or ‘badass’ or ‘I can do scary things’.

Challenge Summary

· Write down what you perceive to be the shadow or negative parts of you and work with me to give each a flip-side, a LIGHT quality. For example, the flip side or neurotic perfectionism might be pride in your work or great attention to detail.

· Create a candid video or post where you share something that is real to you and that makes you scared of rejection. For some, this might be posting without makeup or sharing some poetry or just talking about something difficult you went through.

· Acknowledge your courage. It is there. You can do what scares you. And this is what you must do!

Where We Don’t Want to Go

What have you been avoiding? is one of my favourite coaching questions. It is often where we don’t want to go and what we don’t want to do that holds the key to our greatest growth. Whenever I reflect on this, I think ‘eek’ because I know that once I identify what I’ve been avoiding, in most cases, it’s the next must-do step.

This module follows nicely from our work on owning all parts. It is about now observing the world within, and our lives, and beginning to do what we have been avoiding for whatever reason. You will do this one before our modules on healing and going for your goals, because the spirit of this one is that you do not need all your ducks in a row to take the first step forward or to do something that has been stealing more of your energy than contributing to it.

Challenge One

Do what you have been avoiding. Having already worked on relationships in Module 3, including having awkward conversations, and having focused on self-care in Module 2, you may find that over the last few weeks you have already done a few things you have been consciously or unconsciously avoiding.

But we can always be a bit edgier and surface what we know we really, really must do, and do it now.

It could be a separation, or a movement away from something. Like the career path that you know doesn’t bring you joy or fulfilment. Or filing divorce paperwork, which will inevitably happen (and there is no perfect time).

It could be moving towards something or a new beginning. Like writing that book in your heart that never seems to hit priority one, even though it’s your life dream! Or joining a dating site. Or reconnecting with an old friend, beginning with an apology or forgiveness.

The places we don’t want to go often hold the key to our deepest sense of self-efficacy. When we do what has been grating on us for years, there is relief and often a quantum leap into a new world where so much is possible. Have faith that even when the task itself feels scary or like it could get messy, remember that you will come out the other side and that that life will be better in ways you cannot yet fathom.

Challenge Summary

· Do what you are avoiding.

Yes, there is only one challenge so you can’t avoid it!

Forgiveness, Reframing & Compassion

In this module, you will do some dedicated forgiveness work, now that you are primed with a level of self-understanding and compassion. You will learn how to reframe any of your funky ideas that hold you back and speak to yourself in a way that elevates your goodness and agency.

A pattern within this course is the building of self-esteem through creating a sense of personal power. One way we give up our power is by giving in to certain thoughts and not choosing other thoughts or beliefs in their place. Even if you have what may seem to be a positive belief, you still can choose again or be aware that there are multiple options for how to think about a situation. For example, if you have the (vey Aussie-sounding) thought ‘She’ll be right, mate’, you could still turn that hopeful and positive belief into the thought ‘We have the power to turn this situation around’. See how that cultivates personal power, not just universal surrender?

And then there are obvious times where your beliefs do you a great disservice. If you have compulsory workplace training and your prevailing thought is ‘this is a waste of time’, then your experience of that training is going to be awful. Or if you think that everybody is out to get you or that you are just not good at x,y,z it can create a feeling of doom and gloom that could affect your health. Or it could stop meeting new people and trying activities that could be challenging and rewarding.

So our beliefs really dictate our experiences and our overall happiness, which is why the work in this module is so important.

Challenge One

Your first challenge is to track any negative thoughts or beliefs that come up this week and immediately write a counterpoint or different perspective. I wish every person could generate new, interesting and useful perspectives like lightning. It is one of the most valuable skills we can develop as individuals and as a society. It is how problems can be solved and how humans can start achieving their potential. Before you transform that belief, you can do the ‘forgiveness chant’, where reflecting on the original thought you say ‘I forgive you, I’m sorry, I love you’, which really releases and begins to transmute the energy around that limiting belief.

Here are some examples of transforming thoughts and beliefs into ones that are better for you and more useful overall. Imagine you wake up groggily at 11am and think, ‘Damn, I am just not a morning person’ and do that every weekend for years. You’ll begin to reinforce what you are, what you are not, and associate it with a particular feeling, in this case groggy. So whenever you think about waking up, it is associated with a personal limitation you are reinforcing while feeling not physically at your peak. More useful thoughts would be:

· It’s nice being able to sleep in.

· I love having slow mornings.

· Another beautiful day!

You can even turn the original statement into a more useful question that will generate an answer, like:

· How can I feel refreshed this morning?

· What am I looking forward to today?

· When am I at my peak?

To complete the challenge, make sure you highlight or rewrite your favourite beliefs —sentiments to live by that lift your mood and make you feel powerful.

You can watch the Language Shapes Ideas video and practise using some of the sentence starters to reframe your self-perceived weaknesses or limitations. This will complement the work we did finding the light side of the dark.

Challenge Two

The energy of forgiveness is letting go with love, and so this next challenge is really going to open you up to that energy. Give away or sell things that you are willing to part with, but have been holding onto out of fear. There are many reasons to do this, including to begin attracting money, but for this course, you will do it so that letting go becomes natural, however hard it is at first. We can let go of beliefs and resentment with that same initial tension and then loving release.

Challenge Summary

· Track any negative thoughts or beliefs that come up this week and immediately write a counterpoint or different perspective. Use forgiveness chants on the initial limiting beliefs (I forgive, I’m sorry, I love you).

· Watch the Language Shapes Ideas video and practice using some of the sentence starters to reframe your self-perceived weaknesses or limitations.

· Practice letting go with love. Do this by willingly giving away or selling things you’ve been holding onto out of fear.

Stepping Towards Your Dreams

In this module, you will focused on doing what is in your heart and setting the wheels in motion to accomplish a goal or dream that you may not have even dared to utter til now. Don’t worry, I will take you through a really cool process to help you get there, but the name of the game this week is aligned action.

Challenge One

The first challenge is to write a goal or dream, as though it is true right now and describe the whole scenario in detail. It might present as your ‘perfect day’ in which the dream comes true. Or maybe it is the moment where you know you’ve ‘made it’. This could be the peak point, or defining moment, like accepting an accolade, or setting foot in a new home or seeing the first dollars for something you made. Write it in first person, present tense, e.g. ‘I am stepping out from behind the stage curtain…’ Making the scenario real and compelling can motivate you to act. It will also help you clarify exactly what you want. Being engaged in the scenario through visualisation will help you tweak aspects as you go and become more discerning.

Challenge Two

The next challenge is to take action towards your goal in a way that clearly sets the wheels in motion for you to achieve it. If you want to book more clients, that action is probably not going to be changing your brand logo. It’s more likely to be sending a thoughtful email with an invitation for your potential clients to buy from you! If your goal involves building a skill, the first impactful step is not going to be spending hours looking for the best coach for you. It’s probably going to just be spending one hour learning and practicing. Having a bias for action is a habit you can build. Having a bias for action with the most impact can also be mastered. You will have a whole new level of self-respect when you do what you say you’re gonna do. It begins here.

Challenge Summary

· Write a goal or dream, as though it is true rights now and describe the whole scenario in detail.

· Take action towards your goal in a way that clearly sets the wheels in motion for you achieving it.

Exploring our Physical Selves

This module is about have a full-blown appreciation and love for our physicality. It involves feeling great about every aspect of you, and again, knowing how to talk to yourself when you feel like you are lacking in any way. It is also about engaging with your body in joyful, nurturing, and pleasurable ways. Super-fun challenges too.

Challenge One

To start with, do a full body scan a take note of any areas of tension, injury, lack of vitality and any areas you don’t feel so great about for whatever reason. You can close your eyes and begin reflecting on your body, focusing on your scalp, hair, cranium and down to your feet, toes, toenails, heels, etc. Breathe love and healing energy into every part as you reflect on it. You can also just look at yourself or a picture of the human body and systematically go through every part and note where you could take better care of yourself, including where you might need scans, more stretching, moisture, etc. As you scan, if you are a woman, it may remind you that you need to book in your PAP test, or maybe you are wondering if your eyesight is perfect and whether to see an optometrist or at least commit to less screen-time or blue-light-filtering glasses.

Schedule in what needs doing and keep any notes handy so that you can use them later this week.

Knowing what makes you work and knowing any of your ailments, design a health and exercise plan that works for you. You can make this consulting with a professional, or alone, initially using research and some instincts around what you need and what you should avoid. Most people already know what would get them to a healthier state, even without having a doctor or trainer tell them. Even elite athletes know when they need more rest, more stretching, more focus on their weaker side, etc. The everyday person like me, may know that a more consistent water intake would sort out some of the dry skin and that more fibre would help with constipation, and so on. No formal health qualifications here! Boosting self-esteem means loving our bodies in the more archaic sense of the word- to show it love through how we treat it. Using the ‘how you work best’ guidelines from Module One, make a plan you can stick to or at least feel good about when you design it. If it’s already bumming you out, then tweaks are needed. Give yourself a hundred reasons to be healthy and have these reasons somewhere you can see it. Create lock-in points where you do it with friends or a trainer if that helps you commit. Make it easy to begin and sustain (with tweaking over time, of course).

Challenge Two

The next challenge addresses those body parts we don’t always feel great about. For you it might be squishy bits or those around an injury area or a place that reminds you of a past pain-point, emotional or physical. With clean hands, with or without moisturiser or lubricant, massage your own body, creating small circles or gentle pinches in a way that feels nice and is the perfect pressure. Linger on those areas that make you feel self-conscious or the places that need some positive circulation. Remember to listen to your body and to move to another area if you experience pain. Whilst self-healing can take place, this is more about physically committing to self-love and creating pleasurable sensations in areas we wouldn’t always touch with such positive intention. To amp up the experience, use kind words of gratitude as you touch each body part. ‘I am grateful for my shoulders and the movement they grant me’ or ‘Thank you belly button for your first role in connecting me to my mother’ or ‘These lips help me eat, speak and give loving kisses.’ We can be grateful for what we have and even for what may be absent, especially if it has taught us a new lesson or developed strengths in other areas. Tell me, what stood out in this experience?

Challenge Three

The last challenge of this week is to have an orgasm in a state of receiving. When we orgasm, there can be a sense of pushing out or a dispelling of energy, but now we want to become energised and focus on receiving goodness, abundance and joy as we orgasm. To do this, focus on breathing slowly and deeply more than holding your breath (which can be very normal). Focus on full-body pleasure, not just sensations at the point of stimulation. Whether alone or with a partner, see if you can create a whirling feeling on pleasure on the inside and in areas that may be numb or not in your usual awareness. For women, this could be around the walls of the vagina, not just on the G-spot point, or see if you can find a pleasant sensation on your nipples without having to touch them. To heighten this process, practise staying as close to orgasm as you can without actually orgasming. Being at about a 7-8 out of 10 for as long as possible is ideal. With relaxed and controlled breathing and continued visualisation of the pleasure, joy, abundance and goodness you are receiving, your orgasm should be long and energising, where you don’t just want to fall asleep (although you could), but where you could be more alive and engaged with the rest of your day.

Challenge Summary

· Do a full body scan a take note of any areas of tension, injury, lack of vitality and any areas you don’t feel so great about for whatever reason. Begin actioning any ailments that you may have been neglecting.

· Develop a health and exercise plan that is aligned with what you need and what you enjoy.

· Engage in self-massage, especially around any body parts you do not always love and appreciate.

· Have an orgasm in a state of receiving.

Commitment, Purpose & Drive

In this module, you will be making certain commitments to yourself and fool-proofing them so that you follow through. Doing what you say you are going to do has already been established as a self-esteem sky-rocketer, and so this module helps you define your purpose OR generate a sense of purposefulness in everything to do, so that you never feel your valuable resources are wasted.

Around 15% of people feel they have a purpose in life or find it useful to think about ‘purpose’. This may not be you, and if it’s not, that is ok. This exact challenge may not get a fire in your belly and so if that is the case I’ll let you know what to do next.

If you are someone who is able to define their purpose and finds meaning in connecting with a purpose, this challenge will help you feel like you belong in this world and will be the extra motivation you need if you ever feel lost or a little flat.

Challenge One

Your challenge is to finish this sentence. I am in this world to ________________. You can listen to the mini-lecture on working out your purpose to assist with this. If what you write inspires you, then find ways to connect with this statement every day. You can put it on your phone screensaver, have it reflected in your choice of passwords or reframe it as a guiding question that you ask before starting your day or your work: ‘How can I stay connected to my purpose of… ?’.

If you don’t feel like you have a life purpose, it is much better to approach everything you do with purposefulness (which is great for everyone, not just you). Before drafting a memo, you can ask ‘What is my intention here?’ and before walking into a family function you can say to yourself that your purpose here is to have fun and spread laughter. When shopping for groceries, rein in your focus by repeating ‘healthy choices only’ and when dabbling in a new hobby, give yourself an objective. You feel much more connected to your life when you act intentionally. And when you feel connected, you are more present to your value.

Challenge Two

You can also give your goals a greater purpose by exploring why they are important and how they could benefit you, your loved ones, and the world. List 20 plus reasons your goal is worth pursuing, including how everyone will benefit simply by you going for it!

Challenge Three

With the mentality and the reasons to foster commitment to a goal, the last challenge is to review that work of the past few weeks and see what habits you’ve committed to or what you need to commit to. Create a commitment pledge, beginning with the next 21 days. For 21 days, I pledge to…

As we looked at in earlier weeks, doing what you say you are going to do is a powerful booster of self-worth. Believing with all your heart that your goals are worthwhile is the cherry on top.

Challenge Summary

Not everyone is wired this way, but if you are, have a go at finishing this sentence; ‘I am in this world to ___________________________________’. If you think and write something inspiring that resonates and motivates, integrate in your life, using phone reminders, affirmation posters, etc.

Write 20 reasons why one of your goals is amazing for you, your loved ones and the world.

Review the past few weeks to see what habits you have committed to or could commit to.

A Focus on Contribution & Kindness

This module really unlocks to key to the ultimate self-esteem, which is about how you sit in relation to others and the world, except instead of toxic comparison, you will be primed to focus on contribution and purpose through channels you love and those that feel ridiculously easy.

You’ll find this perfectly complements our Module 9 work by keeping you in orbit of your purpose.

Here are your challenges for the final module.

Challenge One

Succinctly state what your commitment to the world shall be. Not just in regards to your own purpose, but in terms of your kind intentions for the world. For example, it may be that you will do all in your power to leave the world better than you found it. Or maybe that you will treat every human with utmost respect and compassion. You will see that living into this energy of your goodness will make you resilient during the most difficult of times. Believing you are a good and deserving person can be the difference between you fulfilling and expanding your potential, and shrinking away from your desires. Kindness is good for your soul and good for your dreams.

Challenge Two

Your next challenge is to articulate what you already contribute to the world. You don’t want to have this separation between now and what you will do later. You need to be aware of your value right now. Please note (big disclaimer here) that every human has inherent worth and it is not my intention to make you feel like you need to earn self-esteem. This activity is just another way to make you aware of one way you can appreciate your value. So what do you already contribute to the world? Are you seeing any patterns between your purpose and your contribution? If so, you may already be living into your purpose.

Challenge Three

And how to integrate this outward kindness? If you haven’t done so already, pick one way to be kinder to others or the environment and use this as one of your decision-making filters. For example, you may choose not to speak if it isn’t kind or choose to only buy bio-degradable bin bags! A simple question before your purchases, like ‘Is this sustainable?’ or before your words, e.g. ‘Is this necessary?’, can make your good intentions a daily practice.

Challenge Four

Do you have structures in place that encourage you to contribute in your favourite way? Is there a charity you believe in and want to support? Can you sell your services or align your current business with another cause you believe in? Can you be more prolific in your creations or aim to have more widespread exposure for more impact? Decide on one way to lock-in or expand this contribution.

Challenge Five

Your last challenge for this week is to keep a journal where you reflect on the day, focusing on the positive and the difference that you made. What wonderful things happened and what lovely moments did you encounter? And importantly, however big or small, what did you contribute?

Challenge Summary

Succinctly state what your commitment to the world shall be.
What do you already contribute to the world?
Commit to what skills of contribution you will monetise or volunteer for free and begin doing it ASAP.
Pick one way to be kinder to others or the environment and use this as one of your decision-making filters. For example, you may choose not to speak if it isn’t kind or choose to only buy bio-degradable bin bags!
Distance yourself from your experience of the day and notice what wonderful things happened. Now what lovely moments did you encounter? And importantly, where did you make a little difference?

Closing words & Final Challenge

My friend, having gone through this self-esteem accelerator experience, you probably can see more than ever how feeling good about being you is action-oriented, at least at first. Over time, there will be a feeling within that doesn’t depend on action, a knowing, that you are not just enough, but irreplaceable. And yet when this knowing wavers, you can always return to the practices in this course if you haven’t adopted them permanently.

Before we part, I want to give you a final challenge. Complete this list and read it out loud. You’ll notice that every second line is the same. 20 reasons you love yourself.

I love myself because ______________________________________________________________.

And even if I wasn’t/didn’t/couldn’t, I still love myself.

I am worthy because ______________________________________________________________.

And even if I wasn’t/didn’t/couldn’t, I would still be worthy.

I have value because ______________________________________________________________.

And even if I wasn’t/didn’t/couldn’t, I still have great value.

I respect myself because ______________________________________________________________.

And even if I wasn’t/didn’t/couldn’t, I still respect myself.

I am an incredible being because ____________________________________________________________.

And even if I wasn’t/didn’t/couldn’t, I am still incredible.

I am worthy of love because ______________________________________________________________.

And even if I wasn’t/didn’t/couldn’t, I am still worthy of love.

(and repeat in any combination with words that resonate with you)

Record these into you phone and listen, speaking along with the words. Keep your own worth in your awareness, until it feels so natural, it is no longer a thing.

And if you had to ask me what I thought of you, well, what I think of you is far less important than what you think, but I’ll say it anyway.

From birth, even from your conception, you have been pure love and stardust. Right now, you contribute to your home, loved ones, communities and world in ways that cannot be fully fathomed. And yet, without a doubt, you make this world a better place, through your intentions and your actions. You are oh-so special, and even any dark within you only exists because of your ever-burning light. Yes, your worth is inherent, and it is also wrapped up in all your potential. The potential to make delicious relationships, to monetise your gifts, to be visibly in your element and to inspire others when you show up raw and unfiltered. Your body is precious and mystifyingly wonderful, as is your mind and soul. You are here for a reason, and even if you weren’t, your presence is a blessing. And everything amazing about you is compounded when you choose to do it on purpose. And while I will always do me, I only want to be in a world where you do you.

I’d Do Me

Beckyshortt.com

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